No matter what is happening in our personal lives or on the world stage, The Four Agreements, by don Miguel Ruiz, provides a practical solution to challenges, an empathetic understanding of cause and effect, an insight into unconditional love, the workings of the subconscious mind, and for today’s post toxicity of gossip.
In the slap heard around the world, that is when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Academy Awards Ceremony, after Chris Rock mocked Jada Pinkett Smith’s battle with alopecia, what provoked him? Though I did not see it that night. I watched the re-run of the event on YouTube applying it here to the drama that results from taking things personally, in conjunction with a lack of awareness that leads to a reaction, instead of response.
Not only are most males in our culture domesticated to protect on many levels, but physical force is also accepted and expected in our world. For example, the invasion of Ukraine initiated by President Vladimir Putin, former KGB agent, judo and wrestling champion. In both cases, physical force is a go-to response programmed in the minds of those who abuse and violate others.
Psychologists, neuroscientists, and quantum physicists have recently discovered the all-powerful subconscious controls 95 % of who we become and how we behave leaving 5% to consciousness through present moment awareness. Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, describes the subconscious as “domestication” reminding us we are all domesticated, just as we domesticate our pets. Humans replicate and enliven their programming, live on autopilot as the thoughts in their brains wire together and fire together. The world stage reflects this truth. Both events provide the milieu for gossip, leading to conjecture, taking sides, righteous opinion making, separation, even physical violence. Think of a time when you took something personally, over-reacted, created drama and the events that ensued.
Mocking another human being while couching it in joke is an active form of gossip. Don Miguel Ruiz writes in The Four Agreements,
“gossip is black magic at its very worst because it is pure poison. We learned how to gossip by agreement. When we were children, we heard the adults around us gossiping all the time, openly giving their opinions about other people. They even had opinions about people they didn’t know. Emotional poison was transferred along with the opinions, and we learned this as the normal way to communicate.”
To mock anyone, especially publicly on television, is both astonishing and predictable. To publicly slap someone on the stage at the Academy Awards is astonishing and under the circumstances predictable, as well. Unconditional love would have prevailed if Will Smith loving rubbed his wife’s bald head, instead of taking it personally causing a big bruhaha, which boomeranged.
Invasion of a sovereign nation is also predictable. Autocrats are ego driven; war is predictable. If awareness is used to notice when anyone needs to be right, situations deescalate. When collecting evidence to prove we are right morphs into awareness, we can treat ourselves with compassion rather than criticism, kindness instead of self-loathing, and extreme care instead of self-abuse.
The collective holds the knowledge and wisdom to create life in a loving supportive way, always in all ways. Let’s get at it, making new agreements based in empathy, unconditional love and respect beginning with ourselves and continuing with our brothers and sisters. The energy we put out will return to us.